If you don’t know, we bloggers know what you Googled to get here. It’s one of the more addictive blog statistics features, a peek into the collective unconscious. Here’s a collection of Google searches that brought visitors to Subarctic Mama.
“Am I a good mom?” “Will I be a good mother? “Good mum or not?” “A quiz to tell if I am a good mother.” “Good mother quiz.” “Quiz to prove I am the worst mother.” “Bad mother quiz.” “Attachment issues or just a bad mum.”
What’s wrong mamas? Have we no self-esteem?
I wrote Are You a Good Mom or Bad Mom: Take This Quiz to Find Out because I was tired of the mommy wars. In a desperate moment, I found myself Googling for an answer. I didn’t realize there were hundreds of other moms googling the same thing. Google is the new Delphi. Welcome to my blog. Damnit, you’re all good moms. Let go of the insecurity.
Take heart, least one person got over it. They searched for “kids love even bad moms.” Maybe the mommy wars are almost over.
While we’re all feeling better about ourselves, would all you folks looking for “fear of pooping in public,” find something else to look up while you’re at work. I’ve noticed you only visit Monday through Friday from nine to five.
Those of you who were looking up “fear of public bathrooms” probably don’t have time to google from work because you have to drive home on your lunch hour to use the bathroom.
I don’t know why someone would need “a picture of a bear peeing,” but I don’t have one to offer. I hope I am never close enough to take that photo.
Last month, a lot of people looking for “Halloween prostitutes” dropped by to visit. Pleased to make your aquaintance. I hope Halloween was fraught with sexual tension. Perhaps someday you’ll meet the person looking for “hot sexy Alaskan musher.”
To the person who googled, “colonoscopy hummus,” I hope you’re ok.
If Anchorage’s new motto is Big Wild Life, then our Borough Assembly should consider this Googler’s slogan: “fairbanks crappy town.”
Oh, and a personal message to the sad mom who Googled “why am I not invited to playdates.” You broke my heart. Come over for a playdate any day.
As someone who is about to be a mom, and a regular reader of your blog, please accept my thanks!
Due to your quiz, and getting to read all about the trials and tribulations of motherhood in the great white north, I think I just might be able to handle being a mom in Chicago.
Although in February when it is colder here than there, I don’t want to hear a peep from you.
This made me laugh out loud…And as I’m currently writing from bear country, I’m with you on never wanting to be close enough to one to get that picture.
I found your blog by googling “fairbanks mamas” LOL.
Actually, I think I might have found Scribbit’s blog first and she had a link to your blog. I love your blog though. Nice joke on the quiz.
They are facinating these search stats aren’t they? Oh, and that mother at the end broke my heart too.
How did you learn that?? Very interesting.
I am doing another fruit order, probably on the 2nd. Let me know if you want the rice list/order sheet again.
At least they are finding that quiz. That was one of th efirst posts I read here and it is HILLLL-ARIOUS!
I’ll have to go back and look at the quiz, but I’m loving the colonoscopy hummus…and your concern.
Off Topic – thanks for the link to the Fairbanks Youth Symphony web page. I’m very impressed with the recording posted there of the first movement of Mozart’s Symphony No. 35. It has a lot of style, and the blend between the strings and winds is almost stunning for a youth symphony.
that’s so weird – i’ve also gotten hits on my blog too for google searches of “pictures of a bear peeing.” what is up with that!?
Oh my goodness…what a funny one to end my evening online with. Yes I’m procrastinating from the true tasks at hand! But I had to go pee (possibly like a bear?) after reading your post. Too funny! So far my blog hasn’t come up in a search of anything quite so bazaar! Well, I’m rambling must be time to finish the dishes!
I must confess. I am the one looking for a “hot, sexy, Alaskan musher”. It’s always been a fantasy of mine to curl up with someone hot in an igloo somewhere with my dogs tied up just outside.
To the sad mom, come over for a playdate any day too! I have eleven children ranging from 2-16 years old with a baby on the way so you’ll fit right in!
I was thinking about the “Good Mom/Bad Mom Quiz” and thought that the women on this blog would enjoy a story along those lines, but involving an older child. My daughter, my “baby,” Katelyn is eighteen and a senior in high school. She is a high achiever and starting chaffing at the bit to get out of the small, rural, Alaskan town where we live. We have always tried to give her opportunities to excel and she has rewarded us by working hard and achieving a great deal. Her summers have always been full of activities. (Last summer, she went to the Pre-College Program at Brown University and loved it.) Last school year, I drove her into Fairbanks, a 50-minute trip each way for an American Sign Language class @ UAF to fulfill her “foreign” language requirement for college. This year, we have been driving to Fairbanks 4-7 times per week for afternoon and evening classes at UAF and an internship at the UAF Museum. Because of all of this hard work, she is going to graduate valedictorian, will have earned 33 college credits before starting her freshman year at college, and has earned a number of scholarships. She has been accepted at Brown University and Rhode Island School of Design, two very selective schools.
Now, here is the clincher! Some people feel that her achievements should not count because her classmates did not have the same opportunities and that others did not have mothers who were willing to do the commuting and offer their children these opportunities. (She was asked to share the title of valedictorian.) Don’t they realize that, as a family, we set priorities and made a number of sacrifices to give Katelyn these opportunities and that Katelyn worked hard and done things like earning an A+ and an A in 300 and 400 level university courses? They think that she has gotten scholarships because she is valedictorian, not because she is a well-rounded person who has done more than achieve academically and who put a great deal of work into her scholarship application. (Scholarships are rarely based just on grades and/or class rank.) I feel like these people are belittling Katelyn’s accomplishments because of what I have done for her. But doesn’t a child deserve to be given every opportunity that her/his parents can provide especially if that child is working hard? I maintain that other families could have done the same things for their children, IF they had chosen to do so.
I absolutely agree. I have a five-year old daughter, Kendall, (we’re not even in elementary school yet, let alone college!) and I know if anyone belittled her accomplishments, I would be very upset. I can only imagine how unfair that must be. It sounds like your daughter really worked hard and I think that she absolutely deserves to be valedictorian.
Oh and Lucy, I join the club! I have a baby on the way too, a little boy. I don’t have eleven children though, my new baby boy is my second