Come here. Let me smell your butt.
Don’t lick the potty.
Your underpants are not a pocket.
We don’t eat dog hair.
No, that’s not Mr. Potatohead’s anus; it’s a closet in his butt.
Stop licking your sister.
Raffi’s not so bad.
If you keep pulling on your belly button, it will never go back in and people will wonder what happened to it.
I’ve noticed when you can’t go to sleep it means you have to make a big poop.
We don’t hit people with shoes.
When you’re in the locker room, please don’t talk about other people’s underpants.
People can’t grow extra legs. We’re made with only two.
Yeah, I’m married to the banjo player.
This fracking cracked me up, lady.
Hardy har!
Oh, the things that motherhood does to us. Except the banjo playing part. That’s all you, SM.
Oh, we have been talking about that closet in Mr Potato Head’s butt for years now. It never ceases to fascinate my boys.
You’ve been keeping a list. Nice one. But sometimes I do use my underpants as a pocket. Like for extra tissues and dollar bills. Don’t tell Cedar. Miss you!
Makes me glad and sad my kids are in college.
Yes, I keep this list too. My favorites so far are: “Stop drinking the dog’s water” and “No wonder you’re uncomfortable; there’s a zebra in your pants.”
The favorite one I’ve heard from my son, in the voice reserved for a Rule of the House (such as one might use for “We don’t SAY stupid”) is “We don’t STEP on people’s penises.” His sister was a bit awkward while learning to walk. It is, I suppose, not a bad house rule, though I’ve never had occasion to announce this myself.
Oh, I wish I wrote more things down. I’m having terrible troubles getting all their names right these days, much less remembering who said what. I laughed sooooo hard at this subarticmama. Thanks for the big smile.
Too funny! Thanks for keeping it real!
Great compilation. Just yesterday i overheard a grade school girl say “men are so strange” to which a boy replied “yeah and i’m proud!” while running away. It made me want to compile a list of the things i overhear.
Hehehe! Hilarious! I especially liked “Stop licking your sister.”
Excellent list! Made me laugh out loud.
Oh my goodness….I think I’ve said a few of these myself! LOL!
My partner had occasion to say “stop licking the nuns.”
He was given a pair of Racing Nuns (they have wheels on the bottom) for Christmas, and the kid loves them.
this made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the giggles.